The Decision Part Two

10 Dec

While we were deciding if we should move to Cape Cod, I wrote about everything I was feeling. This is Part Two. You can read Part One here.

I’m sitting in the attic bedroom in Rob’s parents’ home on Cape Cod. I’ve applied lavender to my wrists in an attempt to calm myself down. I Facetimed friends across the country and tried and failed to read a book and it all comes back to this.

I can’t calm down.

In the next week I need to make a decision that will alter the course of my life forever.

And I know, life is long and we can change courses all the times and decisions are not permanent! Even the big ones!

I know.

I can’t calm down.

This morning I read one of my favorite Cheryl Strayed columns to Rob, the one about the ghost ships, the life not taken. I think about it often. 

I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.

After reading it, I said a prayer. I started with Heavenly Father, we are freaking out.

We laughed at it later, but I stand by it.

Heavenly Father, we are freaking out.

I could make you a pro/con list here, the one we’ve been toying with for a few weeks.

It’s a robust list, let me tell you. Should I describe it more without actually listing it? That’s really fun to read, right?

But it comes down to this:

Cape Cod makes a lot of sense.

Cape Cod scares the pants off both of us.

Does that make it wrong?

Heavenly Father, we are freaking out.

Bookmark and Share

One Response to “The Decision Part Two”

  1. Kirsten December 10, 2019 at 8:30 pm #

    How many parts are there to this story?! I love reading your thoughts about this and I’m eagerly awaiting the next part!

Leave a Reply