The 10 People You Meet On An LA Hike

2 Apr

Hiking is the city activity of Los Angeles. If you go on a weekend you’re going to be stuck in traffic, mobbed with people, the joy of being outdoors robbed by the pain of being in a loud, public forum.

We made this mistake last weekend, hiking just after brunch, and while I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise on our hiking trail, I was also taking notes.

Notes I present to you now.

The 10 people you meet on an LA hike

1. The Influencer

Dressed in Outdoor Voices, speaking to their followers. This hike is their photoshoot and the rest of us are just living in it.

2. The Very Casual

Plastic Starbucks cup in hand, jeans on. They are not prepared! Should we be worried?

3. The Very Prepared

You know the fancy backpack of water that I speak of. Maybe some sort of walking stick?

4. The Family

They are regretting attempting this and so is everyone else around them.

5. The Couple On A Date

It’s usually early days and I wonder if this ever works out for them? Hiking is always very emotional for me but, then again, I’m only in moderate shape?

6. The Guy With Speakers Instead Of Headphones

Very presumptuous, forcing the rest of us to listen to your choice of music on full blast, buster.

7. The Runner

Are they barefoot? Are those just very thin sandal running shoes?

8. The Mountain Biker

Listen, it explicitly says no biking here, but that’s not what this is about. How did you pedal your bike up this cliff? The terrain won’t allow for it! I can barely walk!

9. The Dog Owners

Holding their frou-frou dogs or guiding their wolf dogs or apologizing to you that their excited dog has developed a liking for your shins.

10. The Writer

Taking it in, taking notes, going home to blog about it.

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