Your Grandma Here To Tell You About Good Witch

23 Jan

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Gather round my dears and help yourself to the bag of Werther’s on the stained glass coffee table, for I, your grandma, am here to share the good news of Good Witch.

Good Witch is a Hallmark television show currently available on Netflix, though I hesitate to leave it there. Good Witch is the pinnacle of all Hallmark has ever had to offer.

Good Witch is the number two rated show on cable telvision.

The program features Catherine Bell as Cassie Nightingale, a witch who operates mainly by making teas and speaking in cryptic phrases. In fact, if “witch” weren’t in the title of the program, I would have no idea she was a witch and would instead think she was someone who really liked tea! That’s how family friendly this show is.

The New York Times, in their brilliant article, “Have you Grandparents Told You About Good Witch?” highlights several things I’d like to bring to your attention.

Ahem.

What’s most striking about the show — especially if you’re inclined to think that the age of its audience also implies a conservative cultural or political cast — is how thoroughly dominated it is by women. That isn’t necessarily unusual for a prime-time soap, but men in “Good Witch” are a particularly clueless and ineffectual bunch.

Men in “Good Witch” aren’t judged by their ability to orchestrate scams or kill zombies — they’re judged by whether they can be trusted to tell a woman the truth, and whether they try hard enough to make her happy. Binge-worthy or not, it’s a refreshing sentiment.

I’m here to tell you that this show is indeed binge-worthy feminist content. That if you give it your time you’ll start saying things like, “I wonder if they write Cassie’s cryptic advice in italics so she knows to speak really mysteriously.”

You’ll start laughing at the “redundantly named Bistro Café.” And you’ll grow to love “the villain, the self-absorbed but well-meaning mayor, Martha. (You know right away she’s different because of the theatrical, high-comic style with which Catherine Disher plays her.)”

(You’ll also quote that New York Times article over and over again like I just did. Because gosh. Wow. Golly. What a show.)

And eventually, if you spend enough time in the idyllic Middleton and with the idyllic characters who range from “nice to mildly irritating,” you’ll start to realize that all of these actors remind you vaguely of other, shall we say, more famous actors.

This is not to denigrate the actors on Good Witch, whom I love with all my heart (except for maybe Anthony, but we’ll get there). This is to say, if you start watching this show, like I’m urging you to do, you’re sure to see an actor and think, hey, that sort of looks like someone I’ve seen before.

And then, eventually, you’ll write this blog post and put it out for the world to see, because what other option do you have?

OK then.

Let’s begin with Cassie.

Oh Cassie. Of the cryptic phrases and the tea. I’ve loved Catherine Bell since my parents got into JAG back in the 90s, and she did and does look a bit like Catherine Zeta Jones, no?

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Her daughter is a dead sort of maybe lookalike for Selena Gomez.

And get this! The two boys in her daughters’ life are both vaguely like Justin Bieber in his various stages.

First, there’s Anthony in the swoosh stage. (We don’t like this kid because he’s whiny.)

 

And then, Nick with the Better Hair Bieber stage. (Things are complicated with this one.)

It’s a Jelena reunion every week on Hallmark! What are you waiting for?

OK, now for the men in Cassie’s life.

Ryan has a hint of a Colin Firth doesn’t he? (Love you forever, Darcy.)

And Sam is an Aaron Eckhart. (Remember this dude from Desperate Housewives? He really plays the role of love interest in a female-dominated show well.)

Cassie’s stepdaughter Lori reminds me of Amanda Seyfried kind of maybe?

And her stepson is basically Ezra from Pretty Little Liars. (Is that show still going on? How many As are there?)

Cassie’s cousin Abigail is a Leighton Meester/Minka Kelly type.

And then there’s Cassie’s best friend Stephanie who is faintly a Julie Bowen?

There’s also the aforementioned mayor Martha who bears more than a passing resemblance to Dolores Umbridge. (But she has a heart! I want to make clear she has a heart.)

OK, and before we end I want to bring it back to Anthony of the Bieber swoop hair. Some internet sleuthing led me to his music career and the fact that, yes, he did go next level Bieber with the next step of his career!

I can’t wait to see what’s next! The blonde phase?

What a time to be alive!

Deep breath.

Are you still here?

Are you going to join me as I continue to watch this show for the laughs, the love, and the…yes, magic?

The very vague we all have a little magic, and here’s a cup of tea magic?

Join me, grandchildren.

Join me in this noble venture.

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3 Responses to “Your Grandma Here To Tell You About Good Witch”

  1. Michelle January 26, 2018 at 7:47 am #

    Ohhhhh goodness how I loved this post. A) I will definitely check out this show now that you’ve talked about it. B) You were very weirdly SPOT ON with those actor comparisons! C) Your writing is just so entertaining and lovely to read. Tis all 🙂 xx

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