For The Right Reasons: Me and The Bachelor

4 Jun

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(I am in this picture)

 

Reasons I Wouldn’t Go On The Bachelor

I’m wildly sensitive and internet trolls would ruin my life

The type of guy I’m into would rather do anything on this earth than go on a reality tv dating show

After the show I would enter the Bachelor dating pool and I despise them all except JP Rosenbaum who is already taken

This experience would forever follow me and people would require I write Bachelor recaps for life

Did I mention internet trolls

 

Reasons I Would Go On The Bachelor

 

They give book deals to former contestants whether or not they can write

Writing fodder forever

Never work just sell hair gummies?*

 

Reasons They Wouldn’t Cast Me On The Bachelor

 

I’m 40 lbs larger than their average contestant and they don’t seem to be looking to expand the body diversity of the cast

I would not get drunk (though I would still probably say wild things to the camera)

I would most likely lead the other girls in a rebellion against the Bachelor, “Sisters unite!” wherein we walk out of the mansion in protest and the Bachelor is left single and embarrassed as he should be

 

Reasons They Would Cast Me On The Bachelor

 

I’m from Utah, their favorite state

I cry easily

I would most likely lead the other girls in a rebellion against the Bachelor, “Sisters unite!” wherein we walk out of the mansion in protest and the Bachelor is left single and embarrassed as he should be

 

 

* I would not do this. I think? But STUDENT LOANS. But pride!

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