What Are Rory Gilmore’s Exes Up To in 2015?

16 Apr

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Rory Gilmore’s love life is a hotly debated topic, at least in the circles I’m a part of.  The boy you think is best for Rory, the boy you think is best for you, how much time you spend pondering these questions—well, it says a lot about a person.

At the end of Gilmore Girls, Rory walked off into the sunset single and ready to take on the world of journalism.  I like to picture her life now, sometimes.  I imagine she’s still working her way up the career ladder, the real world harder than she thought.  I imagine she and Lorelai are closer than ever and that she has a new half sibling or two she dotes on (maybe with sock puppets).

Occasionally I imagine the lives of the boys she once loved.

What are Dean, Jess and Logan up to in 2015?

Have any of them moved on?  How hung up are they on Rory’s bright mind and blue eyes?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Dean Forester:

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Oh dear Dean.  Dean still sports a bowl cut, I’m sorry to say.  He never realized his haircut was dated in high school, and he still doesn’t.  Dean still lives in Stars Hollow, too.  After Rory unceremoniously broke up with him at her birthday party, Dean drove to Lindsay’s, begged her to take him back, and in her bland, Lindsay way she said yes basically immediately.  Lindsay still makes him a pot roast every Sunday.  He still works at Doose’s, though he’s made his way up to the coveted assistant manager position. On Saturdays you can find him at Gypsy’s tinkering with cars, or hanging out with Kyle, his best bud from Stars Hollow High.  He and Lindsay have four children named Sophia, Emma, Jackson and Aiden, incidentally all in the top 10 current most popular names.

He calls out Rory’s name during sex only twice a year at this point.

Jess Mariano:

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Jess, to the surprise of some who didn’t know him, none who knew him, found his calling in the literary world.  After writing three independent novels only a handful of people even knew about, Jess published his work of staggering genius, a coming-of-age tale we haven’t seen since Salinger himself.  Jess has been compared to the literary greats ever since, and while he says he dislikes it, he really relishes the praise.  Jess has become the poster child for a new generation of beatniks, but falls the way of Jack Kerouac before him.  He’s single, often finding himself using women for the stories they provide him, never quite able to attain inner peace.  He dedicated his Great Novel to Luke Daynes.

He and Rory catch up over lunch in the city once a year.

Logan Huntzberger:

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Logan was made the head of Huntzberger Enterprises after Mitchum had a sudden and fatal heart attack during a board meeting gone wrong.  Logan was forced to move to New York and start his future prematurely, and he went kicking and screaming.  After nearly driving the company to the ground, Logan did what he always should have done—ceded control of the business to his sister, Honor.  He remains on the board of directors of Huntzberger Enterprises, but can’t be bothered to show up to any actual meetings.  Logan currently lives in London where his best friends are Prince Harry and Night Clubs.  Many fear he will never grow up.

He still drunk texts Rory every once in a while.  She’s always classy about it.

Urine Mints Man:

Rory’s only other date in the seven years we followed her life, a guy so bland we don’t remember his name, Urine Mints Man never quite recovered from his poor Rory date.  He’s become a dating and life coach and often tells the story of his fateful Rory interaction.

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16 Responses to “What Are Rory Gilmore’s Exes Up To in 2015?”

  1. Alysa April 16, 2015 at 6:38 pm #

    I don’t think it’s really fair to call Lindsay bland.. she was the victim in the whole thing. She was working really hard to keep her stupid husband happy, when he was cheating on her and going behind her back. Dean is the worst and I doubt she’d take him back tbh :/

    • jillianlorraine April 17, 2015 at 5:35 pm #

      I agree–Dean is absolutely the worst and Lindsay is absolutely the victim here…I just also find Lindsay bland. (Granted, we saw the story from Rory’s perspective.) Perhaps Dean’s better ending is he comes crawling back to Lindsay, she rejects him, and he lives a loveless, sad existence. Maybe in his parents basement.

  2. Miriam April 16, 2015 at 8:48 pm #

    This.Is.Awesome. I had never even heard of Gilmore Girls until the fall of 2014, when luckily the stars aligned and I found them on Netflix. I’m a huge and devoted fan ever since, deeply unsatisfied with the abrupt ending. Thank you so much for continuing this fascinating tale for me! All their lives make sense to me, I didn’t expect anything else. There is only one pressing question: Who will Rory end up with?? I still hope for Logan, even though Jess would make more sense – but Logan and her were GREAT together. And who can resist such a smooth talker/rich boy?

    • jillianlorraine April 19, 2015 at 10:07 pm #

      BLERGH. THE ENDING. THE ENTIRE SEVENTH SEASON. I have tickets to the ATX Television Festival where Lauren, Alexis and Amy are reuniting and I’m hoping for more closure on the matter. And yes, Logan was so handsome and charming, but I think Rory ends up with someone we didn’t get to meet.

  3. Cora April 19, 2015 at 8:24 am #

    Hahahaha oh my gosh this is hilarious!!!! 😀

    • jillianlorraine April 19, 2015 at 10:07 pm #

      Thank you!

  4. Caroline L. April 19, 2015 at 5:36 pm #

    This is so on point, and I love you for writing it up because I’ve been going through MAJOR GG withdrawals right now! I was always a Team Logan fan, but I also hope that dear old Rory went on to focus on her career, single, for a while before finding a man more stellar than all three of these fellas!

    • jillianlorraine April 19, 2015 at 10:11 pm #

      I’m with you. I think Rory finds some stellar man in the future, which is a bit sad because I never got to meet him, but also I’m happy for her. It’s a realistic plotline–many people don’t meet the love of their life by 23, but still, a bit sad (for us).

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