Where To Eat In Malibu: Coral Beach Cantina

5 Dec

There is this myth around these parts of LA.  It goes something like this:

There’s no good food in Malibu.

I’ve read articles on the topic.  I’ve heatedly argued its merits with a ferocity that makes me wonder if I should take up speech and debate.  I’ve defended and screamed and recommended my guts out, and now, I decided it was time to really end that myth once and for all, here on the definitive blog about Malibu (so says my mother).

You guys are in for a wild ride.

Where to eat in Malibu: Coral Beach Cantina

It’s all about the nachos

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I’m going to get this out of the way.  If you order something else at Coral Beach Cantina you will be disappointed.

If you go inside its open doors and take a seat on the fading patio, and decide it’s time for enchiladas, then you have misread me and this blog post and I expect an apology note.

On personalized stationary.

I expect you to cry yourself to sleep, clutch your pillow for support, and then write me an apology for your moment of drama.

The enchiladas (and tacos) (and whatever else you foolishly ordered) aren’t going to do anything for you.

Coral Beach Cantina sprung from the earth, a perfect vessel for Nachos Roberto with chicken, and we, as a society should respect this.

In the words of Beyoncé, we should bow down, bitches.

Coral Beach Cantina

Address: 29350 Pacific Coast Highway Malibu, CA 90265

Parking: On site!  Always enough!  Hallelujah!

Ambience: A+ (Feels a bit like Disneyland, no?)

Highlights:  Homemade salsa and hot chips that crunch and crumble and bring delight to the world

Lowlights: Flat Diet Coke, approximately 35% of the time.  This can be remedied with a trip to the Malibu McDonald’s.  (Does the Malibu McDonald’s deserve its own post?)

What to order: Nachos Roberto with chicken.  Add those onions and jalapenos.  Live a freaking little.

Pricing: $12 for the nachos.  WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?  HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?

Things of note: Sometimes I split the nachos three ways.  Ideally I think it’s a two-person nacho, but three is also quite comfortable, and quite cheap.

Also the owners will never know your “regular” order no matter how often you frequent.  Don’t feel bad about this.  I only do 35% of the time.

 

PS: Can you spot Lucas and his red converse?  It’s like Where’s Waldo only less fun!

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4 Responses to “Where To Eat In Malibu: Coral Beach Cantina”

  1. Kylee December 5, 2014 at 10:05 am #

    There you go again with the Nachos. I should just keep a nacho ingredients stock supply in my kitchen for the days that you blog. Anyway, I’m going to go eat something disappointing now.

  2. Emily December 8, 2014 at 2:01 pm #

    I’m going to have to assume you haven’t ordered the crab enchiladas. I dream of them often.

    • jillianlorraine December 9, 2014 at 4:46 pm #

      What?! Why have I not known? Will try immediately.

  3. fiona January 1, 2015 at 7:42 am #

    To clarify – blog Lucas is real-life Rob, right? Not to let the cat out of the bag but I’m almost 100% sure I am the last one to figure this out (as usual).

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