The Fake Celebrity Sightings of my LA Dreams

3 Jun


Important information right here, people!  Important information!

I’m tired.  And my brain does not want to give me a blog post.  And luckily for you all, I wrote a guest post not too long ago about my four dream LA celebrity sightings and now you get to read it.

Also, I’ve recently taken to bidding for vintage mumu patterns on eBay so there’s that.

On to the fake celebrity sightings of my LA dreams!

1. David Beckham

David is clearly at the top of this list as David is clearly at the top of life.  One of my professors recently said she wanted David to decorate her living room and now I just can’t that glorious visual out of my head.  What a living room!

I imagine I would run into David on the beach.  He, holding a surfboard, me wearing a non-pretentious cover-up that conveyed both personality and sass. He would smile, sensing a connection, but things wouldn’t go too far.   WE BOTH RESPECT VICTORIA.  We would lock eyes, wistfully thinking about what might have been in another life under other circumstances. On my deathbed I would yell, “It was always David!”

2. Stevie Nicks

My meeting with Stevie would take place in some ultra-hippy, possibly communal restaurant where we sat on the floor and vibed with the universe. (Duh.)  Stevie and I would discuss life, love, and the pursuit of proper hair products.  (There has to be a secret to those curls, there just has to be.)

We would also get down to business—what’s her favorite line in Dreams? When did the “witch” label come about?  Exactly how much is she in love with Lindsey Buckingham this very minute? Sigh.  I get excited just thinking about it.

3. Scott Disick

I would meet Scott at Duke’s in Malibu.  He would be drunk (Scott!) and at the bar, holding court.  “Let me buy you a drink!  Join us!” he would say, in that thick New York accent of his.  I would spend the afternoon listening to Scott tell increasingly outlandish stories.

At the end of brunch we would go our separate ways, he to a scolding Kourtney, me to my computer, where I would create a new blog entitled “My encounter with Scott Disick.  One post per minute in his presence.” The blog would be a runaway hit.  I would quit my day job and move to Prince Edward Island.  Scott would have another baby with Kourtney.

 4. Oprah

I would glimpse Oprah at a gas station in Hollywood.  She would be in a limousine (obviously) and someone else would be filling it up (obviously).  I would pay attention to the car only because of the intimidating security guards and the general aura of self-fulfillment coming from its very core.

Just as I was getting curious enough to try to sneak a peek in the car, Oprah would roll her window down and give me a small wave. I would take that moment and turn it into a new life for myself, a life of fulfillment and inner peace and chai tea.

When people asked me what changed, why I was a drastically different person, I would just say, “Oprah” and leave it at that.

Which celebrity encounters do you dream about?

Do you, too, respect Victoria Beckham?


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8 Responses to “The Fake Celebrity Sightings of my LA Dreams”

  1. brittney June 4, 2014 at 8:42 am #

    mmm David Beckham… no respect for posh spice if I had the chance its on! LOL

  2. Jules June 4, 2014 at 8:44 am #

    Bradley Cooper. Leo, Derek Jeter, Zac Efron

    …i’d pass out if i saw any of them though, so theres that

  3. Jess June 4, 2014 at 1:03 pm #

    So fun story. I was IN THE SAME BUILDING AS DAVID BECKHAM…but didn’t know it until that night when I got home and saw it on the news. There may or may not have been a tear shed. I went to the Florida Capitol to sit in on the Legislative Session for work and David happened to be in a meeting there petitioning for a MLS stadium to be built in Miami. So close, yet so far.

    • jillianlorraine June 4, 2014 at 8:01 pm #


  4. Becky June 4, 2014 at 4:22 pm #

    This post made me giggle, I think about my celebrity sightings. Apparently Miranda Kerr is from around where I’m living in Australia. I imagine that we’d meet at a nail salon getting pedicures side by side with some quite Asian women paying attention to our feet – mine pale and mangled from walking around barefoot all thetime, hers perfectly tanned although a bit rough from all those high heels. We’d sip cucumber water and strike up some sort of conversation over her choice in nail polish, and quickly become friends, her inviting me to some fabulous social event where I eventually become the chef of the stars.

    I would feel strange about that ^^ if you hadn’t just written a post about the same situations…

    xx Becky

    • jillianlorraine June 4, 2014 at 7:59 pm #

      Oh my I love everything about this.

  5. Krystal R. June 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm #

    haha Scott was in my neck of the woods and I didnt even go see him. In other news (that I only read today) apparently Kourtney is rumoured to be pregnant! you psychic you.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

  1. 8 Stages of Muumuu Addiction - June 17, 2014

    […] of online outlets (like Portable, She Knows, and Thought Catalog), Jill shares her LA life (like fake celebrity sightings) on her blog Jillian Lorraine. Some of my favorite posts include her list of 25 signs that you […]

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