McDonald’s Moods

13 May

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The other night I got in a bad way.

Sometimes I don’t know when these bad ways will hit, or why, really, or how to get out of them.  All I know is I feel very misunderstood and what I need more than anything is Caitlin.

“I need to talk to Cait,” I said, that bad-way night.  “Caitlin will understand.”

And sure enough, when Cait woke up to my distressing texts she said, “Want me to come over and we can get dolled up together while listening to Stevie?  How may I be of service mon petit chou?  We can get ready and order pizza with all the toppings and snuggle and watch Grey’s.”

“Yes” I said. “Yes, yes, yes to everything and yes again.”

Caitlin is the only person in the world who relates to this specific mood of mine, this self-destructive self that is willing to throw away wonderful things for the ghost of a flash of a memory, who clings to falsehoods and crazy and irrationalities.  She understands because she can be the same way.

And so Cait came over, as good friends do when they receive distressing 3:00AM texts, and through Silver Springs and Nutella and peanut butter Rice Krispie treats for breakfast we confirmed what we always confirm in our emergency Jill/Cait sessions:

These are destructive moods.

We can’t throw our lives away for memories.

Or ghosts of flashes of memories.

Especially those.

Stevie Nicks is the answer to all of life’s problems.

And then we went to our Adventure McDonalds’s (not to be confused with our Regular McDonald’s) and we tried out the new Mickey D’s Value Pack and I ordered a large fry because why are there no fries in this value pack?  What is life? What is a McDonald’s value pack without fries in life?

And then we drank four Diet Cokes and and took stupid silly pictures with stupid silly facial expressions and tried to eat fries out of each other’s mouths and some such nonsense with extra sides of ranch.

And for all of my refusals to live in the moment, for all of my focus on the future and all my obsession and re-obsession and over-obsession and obsessive-obsession with the past, I realized that right then I was in the moment.  As Cait and I divvied up our Value Pack and sang our regular “One Day More” parts* and danced seductively to Mariah Carey that afternoon, I was so fully in the moment and so unabashedly myself I forgot about the irrationalities and obsession and was just…happy.

Or at least present.

Perhaps that’s Cait’s gift to me as a friend–the gift of living in the moment.

The gift of being present in my own life.

Holy Spicy McChicken with light mayo is that a good gift for a girl like me.

——–

*One Day More parts, in order of appearance*

Jean Valjean: Jill (Obvi.  Role I was born to play, obvi.)

Marius: Cait

Cosette: Cait (Yes, she duets with herself, I DON’T KNOW SHE MAKES IT WORK.  Maybe she has one of those voices that can split??  Will investigate further.)

Eponine: Jill (On lock)

Enjolras: Jill

Javert: Cait (The role she was meant to play, obvi.)

The Thendardiers: Jill (…)

Various chorus parts: Both of us as the universe moves us

——–

For bookings and other Les Mis appearances/performances/reenactments, please see my contact page.

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3 Responses to “McDonald’s Moods”

  1. Kendel May 13, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

    Oh, having friends like that is the absolute best thing! I love those moments…especially when you finally realise that you are in the moment too. That is pretty neat. As for McD’s…I am definitely craving some now and I haven’t eaten it in yearssssss. What is life?!

  2. Helene May 13, 2014 at 1:55 pm #

    how come your mcdonalds is so pretty? i need an answer on this. also we all need more friends like this. x-large fries please.

  3. Dee May 13, 2014 at 10:07 pm #

    I can relate to those destructive moods. I have those too and i really wish I had someone like Cait who can relate but I don’t and it’s sad.

    Laughed at your parts haha!!

Leave a Reply to Kendel