J Names And Such

13 Apr


There are five Denning children in my family and five Denning children with J names in my family.


That’s us.

Sometimes people call us the J5s.  We know.  Thanks for pointing it out.  Perhaps you could share your baby name opinions with us?

My parents claim they did not start their journeys into motherhood and fatherhood with this J plan in mind.  Their favorite boy name was a J, so that was that.

Then came me.  If I were a boy I would have been named Ross. But  I wasn’t a boy, or a future paleontologist, and so I got their favorite girl name–also a J.


You know my name.

I just thought about that, and is the whole name thing a bit unfair to younger siblings?  Like, you know that you got the second favorite girl name when you’re the second girl?  And third favorite with the third girl?  I’m suddenly feeling slightly more special here about my name.


Number one girl name in the Family Denning!


My parents had a third baby and they thought, “Well what if we only have three kids, he’ll be the odd one out if he’s not a J,” plus they liked another J name, and well you get the point.

It wasn’t a plan, but it is a thing now.

Js for the win!


J-j-j-Jillian number one girl name in the Family Denning!

All right.  I’m not sure where my mood is here, so let’s bring it back around to the more ridiculous.

I was going to try to walk you through my whole thought process for this next step, but it’s feeling impossible, so just know somehow my brain went, “Hey, what are the J names your parents didn’t use?  What would the siblings with these names be like in the Denning household?  Why don’t you write a post about this?”

And so I went there, because sometimes I let myself go to these weird places and maybe it’s time to share this on my blog.

Here are my six J-named non-siblings and their made-up personalities and roles in the Denning family.

(What has this blog come to?!)

Jocelyn is a sister I’m glad I never had because I’m already intimidated just thinking about her.  She’s ethereal and barefoot, the type of beauty that seems so natural and wholesome you can’t even begrudge her for it.  Jocelyn would spend her time wandering the woods in long silky robes and speaking to animals and making herbal teas from bark and thank goodness she’s not real because how would I even get out of bed knowing she was out there being that?

Jonathon would only go by Jonathon, thank you very much, and he would be the Percy Weasley of the family, all uptight and rule-following and REALLY REALLY political in a REALLY REALLY bad way and praise the heavens above Jonathon isn’t with us.  Does a family ever need a Percy, or do families just have to put up with Percys?

Jade would be the Denning girl who was a bit evil. Like if you met her in an alley she might just kick the crap out of you, maybe for no reason at all.  Maybe for rage issues, who knows.   Us Denning girls, we’re fairly tame, with me taking the attitude cake, but Jade would dye her hair a deep red and wear combat boots and go shoot arrows in the forest to save our family from the Quarter Quell and make me look like freaking Cinderella. I would try to joke with Jade like, “Hey, so archery” and we would not connect on any level.  Sorry Jade.  I think you’re cool, though!  I promise!

Joshua would be the douche, and maybe I’m just projecting knowing certain Joshs in real life, but it feels like he’s a douche and he tans and he wears neon clothing of some sort, but not in a good way, and my two nerdy, skinny brothers would not know what to do with him.  Also, he rides a bullet bike and can’t talk Star Wars.  We’re glad Josh didn’t come into our lives.

Josephine aka Josie would be the drama student the Dennings never had and not just because she’s named after Josephine March.   I’m the resident drama queen in the Denning household, but Josephine isn’t a drama queen.  She’s simply a thespian.  Serious about her art.  Bouncy and bubbly and outgoing like none of us Dennings really are.  Plus she can dance.  Yep!  She would be the Denning who got the very, very latent dancing gene and we would all not quite know what to do with her in the very best of ways except stand back and let her dance like a crazy.  Go Josie!  Go Josie!  We love you!  You are not grossie!

Jonah would be the missing Deninng artist.  Sensitive, perhaps to a fault, Jonah is an introvert who likes time alone with just his paintbrush and his battered Morrissey record. The real world would be a bit harsh for our Jonah, but we would love him anyway and we would love his art forever and always and anyway even when it was terrible.

Jonah is my secret favorite non-sibling, but don’t tell the others, especially not Jade!  Jade, I love you! You’re my favorite!


Hey, so archery!

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6 Responses to “J Names And Such”

  1. Amanda April 14, 2014 at 11:52 am #

    I love this post, and all of your posts that I’ve managed to read so far. Ever since I found you on Rachel’s blog I’ve been reading my way back through your older posts – I say this in the least creepy way possible, I swear – because you are so gifted and so, so funny.

  2. vikki April 15, 2014 at 12:33 am #

    Just stopping by from the A-Z list to say “Hi” and wish you good luck with the rest of the challenge 🙂 xx

  3. Sarah Allen April 15, 2014 at 1:13 pm #

    Great names 😀 My family all did Bible names.

    Sarah Allen
    (From Sarah, With Joy)

  4. Southern Roots Growing Tall April 20, 2014 at 9:58 am #

    This is hilarious. One day, you’re going to be big. Mark my words!

  5. lauren packer April 21, 2014 at 8:38 pm #

    this is hilarious and inspiring and i think i am going to start thinking about my fake siblings now too

  6. Toyota April 27, 2014 at 11:12 am #

    My family all did unusual T names with the 6 of us – I ended up as Toyota – go figure

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