I’m Juicing

18 Feb


A few weeks ago after a long day on campus and a long night in class I got in my car, turned on Fleetwood Mac and drove straight home.

Not a bite of McDonald’s.

Now, to you people out there who eat your fruits and juice your vegetables like the good citizens of the future, this probably sounds like a normal night.  To me, who quotes Her and refuses to stop, this was the height of oddity.

10PM = Malibu McDonald’s.

It’s the only routine I can even trust in this crazy thing called life.

But wait!  There’s more.

Not only did I skip the McDonald’s (and the Taco Bell. And the other McDonald’s) on this night-from-another-person’s-life, I skipped the McD/TB/McD and then I went home and juiced.

That’s J-U-I-C-E-D, for those of you who don’t live in LA and are not yet under its spell.

I put kale and lemon and beets in a J-U-I-C-E-R and ground it all up and then drank it.

It was T-A-S-T-Y.

(Don’t tell the spicy McChicken.)

I don’t want to go too far here, but after juicing I decided that I was an entirely new person and needed to change my name to commemorate this new identity.

Please call me Zelda The Juicer from now on.

If you mention the video game I will personally see to it that Caitlin hurts you.  I’m trying to reclaim the name Zelda and we can all be part of this, folks.

Now that that’s out of the way.

I’m juicing!  That whole intro was just to tell you that these days you can call me Zelda The Juicer, because I don’t even recognize myself and I’ve made all sorts of healthy changes in my life.

(I will accept congratulations in the form of McDonadl’s gift cards.)

(They are a thing.)

(I got one for Christmas.)

(Thanks Jenna and Andrew.)

I credit these positive steps in my life to two things 1. A lingering Utah cold that made me sound like a baritone with a cough 2. The New Year.

Every year as January 1st rolls around I make a massive list of all I want to do in the next 12 months.  I wouldn’t call these things “resolutions” per say, more like a running document of all I would like to accomplish in the new year.  Some of them are fun things (Ellen, your lottery system can’t outwit me for much longer!) and some of them are rolling things (I will I will I will take a self defense class one day, oh yes I will), but all of them are things.

Things without numbers.

I’m really, really terrible at goals like “Do 74 push ups five times a week taking 30 second breaks between push-ups 40 and 41 and 63 and 64,” but I’m very much for trying something new and learning to take better care of myself.

In 2014 this means experimenting with juicing, I suppose.

And rollerblading.


Oh people you should see me rollerblade, or actually you probably shouldn’t because it’s kind of absurd.  I demonstrated to Caitlin as I left her apartment and she just rolled her eyes at me and said, “That’s a visual I won’t soon forget.” This may have been because I was reenacting it with a 7-foot surfboard and mini dress, WHO KNOWS, but whatever the case when I rollerblade I sashay my hips and it’s a visual people don’t forget.

Also, I can’t stop.

Not as in “can’t stop won’t stop,” just simply “can’t stop will hopefully learn to stop before I topple down a mountain on rollerblades.”

I have to say, maybe it’s the kale speaking, or maybe it’s the endrophines from the rollerblading injuries (those give endorphins, right?), but so far 2014 has been the greatest.


(For those of you who don’t live in LA.)

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9 Responses to “I’m Juicing”

  1. Erica Jacquline February 18, 2014 at 5:35 pm #

    Way to be! I have been wanting to try the whole juicing thing, I keep hearing great things about it. Way to avoid that temptation.

    • jillianlorraine February 19, 2014 at 11:51 am #

      You should try it! It’s a lot more delicious than I thought it would be.

  2. Cheri @ Overactive Blogger February 18, 2014 at 7:25 pm #

    Okay, I’m pretty new around here, but you’re gonna tell me that your little skinny self ate McDonald’s almost on the daily? I don’t believe it! But congrats on the juicing! Welcome to the dark side, you’re gonna start shopping Whole Foods and drinking Kombucha now 🙂

    • jillianlorraine February 19, 2014 at 11:48 am #

      Confession: I’ve already crossed over to the Whole Foods side.

  3. Kaelene @Unlocking Kiki February 19, 2014 at 12:48 am #

    I am a big fan of green smoothies but have yet to try the whole juicing thing, maybe I should give it a go!

    • jillianlorraine February 19, 2014 at 11:46 am #

      Do it! It makes me feel like a health nut, and I’m all about that.

  4. Michelle February 21, 2014 at 7:37 am #

    Hi! Just found you through Casey’s link-up and I have to say, I absolutely love your style of writing! 🙂

    • jillianlorraine February 21, 2014 at 10:09 am #

      Aww, thank you!

  5. Life+1 February 21, 2014 at 7:43 am #

    Okay so I guess you’ve swayed me. I’ve been on the fence about juicing for a while. But it’s tasty you say?? Hmm, must look into this… Is this the same thing that Yolanda Foster does on RHWOBH? Yes, *shameful blush* I watch it.

    New Post: For the Love of Friday

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