So This Is Adulthood

7 Nov


Yesterday I called to renew my acne medication because I am an adult with acne.  Those of you who splash water on your face once a week and glow like Kerry Washington please stop talking to me now.

The pharmacist informed me that now that I’m 26, my acne medication is no longer considered an acne medication, but a wrinkle cream, and therefore my insurance will not cover it.

In one week I went from a girl with acne to a woman with wrinkles and I didn’t even know it.

I texted several friends with this devastating news, immediately, (obviously) (other words ending in –ly), and was surprised to see most of them responded, “You know, I’ve been considering a wrinkle cream for some time…”

My friends and I are now people who talk about wrinkle creams for real.

I had a similar grownupish moment earlier this year when I renewed my driver’s license.  I’d managed to keep my 16-year-old driver’s license photo for nearly ten years, a classic photo of Jennifer Aniston hair and adolescent Jill.  A photo that made me say, “Oh, I don’t know, I guess driver’s license photos aren’t that bad” much to the annoyance of everyone around me.

Just days before I renewed my license, I was at the post office and had to show ID.  The cute, older woman who was helping me saw my vertical license and said, “Oh isn’t it so wonderful to be 20?  Soak that up.”

I smiled and giggled, like a 20-year-old with Jennifer Aniston hair does, because let’s not ruin that moment, someone thinks I’m 20.

I had always hoped to drag that adolescent photo out as long as possible, perhaps well into my retirement, so when a police officer pulled me over and said, “Ma’am that looks nothing like you” and I said, “Oh officer,” he would respond, “No really, ma’am, that looks nothing like you.”

Oh officer.

Alas, that dream died, as did my adolescence, with my new facial recognition driver’s license photo.

It’s funny that it’s always something small like a wrinkle cream or a standard driver’s license renewal that most reminds me of my adult status.

Well, that and my friends announcing their second, third, and fourth babies.

That too.

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