Demon Weather Girl

11 Jul


One of the side effects of moving to Arizona in the months where, how shall I put this delicately, THE SUN BURNS LIKE THE FIRES OF MORDOR, is that I’ve become one of those people.

The weather people.

You know what I mean.

I can’t stop talking about the weather.

I’ve watched myself morph into this monster over the last two months, this weather demon girl who cackles to herself and jumps into conversations to boom, “SO THAT HEAT IN ARIZONA, SHALL WE DISCUSS?”  It’s quite the party trick.  Frightens the children.

A couple of weeks ago I spent much of a 48-hour period with my brother debating which weather was worse—Austin and its Legendary Humidity or Arizona and its Hell Heat of Certain Misery.

It didn’t matter that I only see this brother twice a year.

It didn’t matter that there were other things going on.

All that mattered was satisfying the weather monster in my soul, feeding it with talks of mugginess and degrees and burn marks.

Record-breaking heat!

Cookies baked inside of cars!

When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!

The conversation ended when my aunt, who has lived in both places, announced she would potentially move back to Austin, but she left Arizona and never looked back.

Monster demon weather girl was delighted with this news, “BOOM.  IN YOUR FACE. ARIZONA HEAT SUN CRY.”

Guys, it may be time for me to move back to Malibu.

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  1. Leave Good Reviews - Jillian Lorraine - June 9, 2017

    […] It was a pretty discouraging conversation, honestly. I left thinking we were dumb for taking $4 engagement photos and also that that man deserved to live in Arizona during the summer! […]

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