Archive | March, 2017

Send My Babies To College! And Other Random Thoughts

29 Mar

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I’ve started to wash my hair with this all-natural detergent-free wash thing. I can’t call it a shampoo because the makers are clear. This is not shampoo. Shampoo hurts your hair and forces you to compensate with conditioner. Why not skip the hurting part?

When I was in high school I had to do a science fair project, which seems kind of weird looking back at it. Aren’t those for elementary school students and volcanoes?

My friend and I chose to do a project on how shampoo acidity affected hair. We put clumps of virgin hair into Ziploc bags along with a jolt of shampoo from the various bathrooms in our homes and let them sit for a few weeks. You should have SEEN the damage done by Pert Plus.

The science fair participants certainly did!

I don’t know where all this is going. I sat down to write as I usually do—to work through my thoughts from the day. And these aren’t even the thoughts I’ve been having.

But I did just wash my hair with natural…wash.

I think the next step in this wholesome journey of mine is making my own cleaning supplies. Eventually I’ll get to making my own laundry detergent and I can lord it over everyone and secretly (and openly) think I’m better than other people. That will be a fun day.

Who have I become?

Or rather, who am I on track to become?

Who I am now is a girl who has washed her hair twice with an all-natural wash and is already talking about her homemade laundry detergent. Perhaps that’s who I’ll always be.

How are these for thoughts of the day?

A few months ago I ordered a yellow frame for a painting in my room. I decided that that was what my life was missing. Something bright canary yellow, popping and squawking and Polly Want a Cracker.

Wait, that’s a parrot.

What arrived, instead, was some sort of a picture liner. I don’t know what to call it. It’s like the owners of the Amazon shop cut out yellow cardboard in the shape of a frame and shipped it in this enormous box to me.

I took a look at it and thought of all the other things in my life in front of this picture frame. My passenger seat car with melted chocolate on it. Those arm weights I really keep meaning to get out of storage.

I took a look at it and then I got some tape and stuck the yellow cardboard over the existing frame.

It’s puckered and weird.

But it squawks.

I was making a mental list today of my favorite SNL skits.

If I had one of those magazine-y blogs, I could write 150 words about don’t we all love SNL here are some of my favorite skits and then get 300 comments on it and send my babies to college.

But alas. I’m just me.

Squawking and making my own laundry detergent (one day!)

The skits I came up with are as follows:

Tina Fey/Justin Bieber “Lonely Teacher

Cameron Diaz “Back Home Ballers

Tina Fey/Amy Poehler “Meet Your Second Wife

Don’t we all just love SNL?

What are your favorite skits? Tell me in the comments below!

(Now my babies will go to college.)

Engaged

22 Mar

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Rob and I are engaged! Here’s the evidence!

In many ways this blog feels like a love story dedicated to him. It started years ago when we were friends and took us here. And now wherever the future leads.

Every once in a while I stumble across a post written about friend Rob, where we both had no idea what was in store, and my heart smiles. Today, in honor of the engagement, I thought I would share some poetry I’ve written about us through the years.

Heart smile, heart smile.

 

BEFORE

They had a pool

on when we would get together

if we would get together

how we would get together

 

we would have bet against it

 

HOW WE GOT TOGETHER

You are all logic and facts, economics and science, there’s an explanation for everything

 

I am all emotion and faith, mystical and spiritual, a social worker bleeding heart

 

to get together

you ignored reality and I listened to my head