Quitting My Job In Seven Stories

14 Oct

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#1

From an unpublished blog post August 11, 2014:

I have two personalities these days.

Personality #1 is Work Week Jill.

Personality #2 is Weekend Jill.

Work Week Jill is a bit of a disaster, but what were you really expecting from a girl named Work Week?

She’s very tired, this Work Week girl, and always a bit behind.  She gives herself exactly eight minutes to get ready in the mornings and has been considering shaving this down to four minutes.

Four minutes seems like a solid amount of time to really prepare for a successful day, right?

Work Week Jill is also pretty crabby.  She’s gone approximately 11 hours a day, fights traffic in and out of downtown LA at rush hour, and she rarely gets to do the things she loves.  Like Writing.  And Reading.   And Malibu.

Work Week Jill is known for her frighteningly low level of patience and random bouts of exhausted tears.

She’s rather scary if you ask me.

And not just because she’s named Work Week.

Then there’s Weekend Jill.

Oh Weekend Jill.

The world really likes Weekend Jill and Weekend Jill really likes the world.

Weekend Jill shows up every Friday night around 8:00 ready to take on everything.  She’s a big dreamer, this one, and wants to see and do and be everything at once.  She also wants to watch a season of Gilmore Girls a night.

It’s a little confusing to be a Weekend Jill.

But fun.  Very fun.

Weekend Jill plans weekend events.  Day trips to Topanga.  Afternoons at the OC Fair.  Ice cream runs in Malibu.

She giggles a lot and imagines the future a lot and tries a whole lot of new food, which is the key to happiness for Weekend Jill (and Work Week Jill) (and me).  (Am I separate from these two identities?) (How creepy has this become?)

By Sunday night, Weekend Jill is fully formed, and fully happy and when she says “I just feel so happy and full of love today” to her boyfriend Luke (who incidentally only has one, rather neurotic personality) he says, “I’ll try to remember this Weekend You fondly when I speak to Manic Monday You.”

And Weekend Jill laughs, feeling like nothing can take away her bliss.  That she’s finally rid of Work Week Jill once and for all.  That life is grand and will always be so!

And then Monday night hits.

And Work Week Jill and her issues are back.

And it all gets terribly confusing again.

Especially for me.

As you can imagine.

#2

We planned to meet up after work and bike to the beach.  It was part of our midweek routine, seeing each other on Wednesdays, maintaining the relationship while I was in the pit of the Deep Dark Evil. (Work.)

I got home late.  There was, of course, a last minute event I was thrown on, due by end of day.  My nerves were frazzled and the LA commute didn’t help.  By the time I walked in my door, eyes drooping, I was barely in the mood to exist, let alone leave the house.

“I’m fine,” I said, walking to the bike rack.  “Let’s just do this thing.”

He didn’t take the bike trail, likely because of time, but it seemed unsafe.  This pissed me off.

The traffic was bad.  This pissed my off.

My bike was slow, dragging, impossible to manage.  This pissed me off.

We lazily pedaled for a few minutes, though it was clear we were never making it to the pier for sunset.  “Stop here,” I said at the library.  “Let’s just watch it from here.”

We propped our bikes against the fence and I reached into my basket for a can of Diet Coke.  I took a sip and set it down on the ground.  He held my shoulders while I cried.

“I need to quit my job,” I said between tears.

“Yes,” he said.

“I hate everything right now,” I said.

He knocked over my Diet Coke.

 

#3

My last day of work I woke up 10 minutes early, giving myself a total of 12 minutes to get ready.  I curled my Farrah Fawcett’s, mascaraed my eyelashes, and in a fit of excitement, threw on a bra.

An hour later, settling into my desk, all smiles and “see ya l8ers h8ers” my work BFF looked across the cubicle at me.

“Whoa, she said,” I didn’t recognize you.”

“You didn’t recognize me without a greasy ponytail and a long-lost look of despair?” I said.

“Basically,” she said.

#4

I learned one great lesson in London.  Well, two great lessons, I suppose.

The first is just because an extra large pizza is the same price as a small pizza you shouldn’t always get the extra large.  (Or if you do, you shouldn’t always eat it all in one night.)

The second was quitting is not failing.

Quitting can be empowering, when it’s something you need to quit.

Quitting can be brave.

 

#5

Hilary gave me a “goobye to work” playlist that looped through my last week.  The songs were carefully curated to inspire me, to make me love my decision.

I already loved my decision.

I loved the playlist too.

#6

Goodbye Work Playlist

1. Death On Two Legs — Queen

2. Sabotage — Beastie Boys

3. Royals — Lorde

4. We’re Not Going To Take It — Twisted Sister

5. I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction) — Rolling Stones

6. Shake It Off — Taylor Swift

7. Nice To Know You — Incubus

8. Dear Marie — John Mayer

9. Wind Beneath My Wings — Bette Midler

10. Somewhere Over The Rainbow — Israel

11. Breakway — Kelly Clarkson

12. Butterfly — Mariah Carey

13. I Have Confidence — Julie Andrews

14. Roar — Katy Perry

15. That’s What Friends Are For — Dione Warwick

16. Everybody’s Free — Quindon Tarver

17. Spice Up Your Life — Spice Girls

18. Defying Gravity — Idina Menezl

#7

Weekend Jill is Malibu Jill.

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7 Responses to “Quitting My Job In Seven Stories”

  1. Miriam October 14, 2014 at 11:10 pm #

    I love this: your stories, your bravery to quit, the playlist, your writing. I will keep reading and re-reading this every time I feel hopeless, overwhelmed and lost.

  2. jenn from much to my delight October 15, 2014 at 4:15 am #

    Love this post! Great pacing and set-up. And yes– when you can no longer distinguish your week self from your weekend self, it’s time to look elsewhere! Best of luck in your next ventures.

  3. Hilary October 15, 2014 at 2:26 pm #

    Malibu Jill is a fabulous human, and I’m glad she’s here to stay.

  4. Sheryl October 23, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    Marvelous writing and brave decision-making. Good for you. Can’t wait to hear what happens next.

  5. Cassandra November 3, 2014 at 4:59 am #

    What a great way to frame and present the story! Congrats on putting yourself out there and trying new things. Best of luck in your newest venture!

    • jillianlorraine November 3, 2014 at 10:03 am #

      Thank you!

    • jillianlorraine November 3, 2014 at 10:04 am #

      xo!

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