Last week I had a magical, mystical shopping day when all the consumer gods aligned and I was blessed with clothes beyond my wildest dreams.
You know the days, stop pretending you don’t.
I went in with the thought that I might buy a necklace and left with everything on my imaginary shopping list plus jean cut off shorts! J. Crew jean cut off shorts in the dead of winter in a dead hole of service in Lehi, Utah nonetheless!
It was a New Years miracle.
In some ways I can’t imagine my life without those jean shorts that I’ve yet to use. In some ways the only future I see is me on the beach wearing those shorts and laughing at others who are less fortunate and have not found their pair of perfect jean shorts yet.
Don’t worry, I will only laugh at them in my head, stop pretending I’m mean about this.
Stop pretending everyone on the beach wasn’t laughing at my lack of jean shorts for the last year and a half.
Throughout this whole silliness of a post, I just keep thinking of the last time I remember using mystical in my writing. It was something far more dramatic and I just looked it up so I could quote it:
It’s like she had reserved all those for him. All her flirtation and excitement was bottled up for some mystical future where he loved her again like he loved her before and she could be silly and giggly and happy with him forever and ever.
So just know that I once wrote things like that and now I write things like this, and also know I have jean shorts.
And leggings. I don’t want to know your opinion on them, since I’m sure I already do, but I’m having the hardest time going back to pants now that I know there’s an option for “putting on pants” and yet feeling as though I’m wearing warm, wonderful air. I bought a pair on the mystical shopping day (not to be confused with the mystical love day) and when my family went to Cafe Rio after I said, “Let us please get it to go so I can get home and put on my leggings and take off my bra before I eat.”
No one laughed because I was being serious.
Other things I bought that I’m excited about:
1. A Heisenberg shirt in the men’s section (I don’t even know)
2. Waterproof mascara to solve all my makeup removing ills
3. A super preppy mini skirt for every day preppy use
4. Workout pants because it’s New Years and I’m ROLLERBLADING THIS YEAR, PEOPLE
Magical, mystical, wildest dreams you get it.
With leggings on top.
And 500 million percent off.