That One Time I Binge-Watched Breaking Bad And Lost My Soul

1 Oct

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At one point last weekend I said, “Watching Breaking Bad is the only good thing going on in my life right now!” and refused to move from my bed for another 21 episodes.

You read that right.

Saturday morning I had 21 episodes to go to make the grand, great, finale of the grand, great show that is Breaking Bad, and I made it, folks.

I made it and it took its toll on my emotional health and at one point I looked up local therapists, but that’s neither here nor there.

I made it.

I made it.  I made it.  I made it.

I consider myself somewhat of a binge-watching TV expert.  After all, I’m the girl who sat in a dark room with her best friend watching Grey’s Anatomy on repeat, shrieking when said best friend’s mother tried to turn on a light.

I’m the girl who bought six McDonald’s diet cokes (four without ice) and refrigerated them so she could make it through a Dawson’s marathon with another best friend.

I’m the girl who should stop telling you these stories right now.

Also, thank you, best friends.  Thank you for everything.

Binge-watching Breaking Bad was different than all my past television experiences, though. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for what this weekend was.  You see, immersing yourself in Breaking Bad isn’t like immersing yourself in a teen soap.  No one buys you a wall.  No one names their boat after you.

Breaking Bad drains your soul of all joy and whenever you think you can stop– “Maybe I can pause now.  This seems like a natural stopping point,” you realize, “Pause to do what?  Work? Shower? Move?  I WILL NOT BE HAPPY UNTIL THIS IS OVER.”

And then you laugh manically and wonder if you are part Walter White because what the hell was that sound coming out of your mouth?

And then you watch the next episode.

And then you run out of Candy Crush lives.

And then you check to see if you really did find every, single Aaron Paul picture on the internet and realize that yes, you did.

Yes, yes, you did.

But that’s neither here nor there.

I made it.

I made it.  I made it. I made it.

Also, Aaron Paul.

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