I Am Lindsay Bluth

25 May

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Naturally, I’ve assigned every member of my immediate family a character from Arrested Development complete with side-by-side photos and personality analyses.

Yes, this is what I do with my time, thank you for asking.

The other day I was talking to my brother Jeff about our assignments, specifically why I am the Lindsay Bluth Funke of the family:

Jill: What are the ways I’m like Lindsay?

Jeff: This feels like a trap.

I assured Jeff that this was not a trap and he should feel free to speak his mind.  Moments later I received a barrage of texts outlining the (eerily accurate and not-always-flattering) ways I am similar to Lindsay Bluth.

It’s like he didn’t even have to reach for these comparisons.

Don’t worry Jeff, I won’t hold it against you. In a decade or so, I’ll probably only remember the hurtful/truthful things you said to me like twice an hour.  I expect the sobbing will have stopped by then as well.  And under no circumstances will I tell anyone you are the BUSTER of the family.

Oops.

With that over with, here are Jeff’s reasons I Am the Lindsay of the Denning family:

1. We both…struggle…in the kitchen

Watch Lindsay’s face as she says, “Hot ham water!” It’s the same expression I get when I tell everyone, “I just googled how to slice tomatoes!”

2. We enjoy the finer things in life

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For more on my expensive tastes, read this post.

3. We have the same sleep habits

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I’ll give him this one.

4. We date the same men

Jeff specifically mentioned Lindsay’s date with Uncle Jack as a parallel to my romantic life.  Sadly, I couldn’t argue.

5. We both wear our dead sister-in-law’s engagement ring as a toe ring

Wait, what??

 

As an added twist, because there are not enough members of our family to cover every character some people had to fulfill two roles.

I am also called upon to be the family’s Tobias because I was once a therapist and quit the profession to write for actors.

So I am actually a Lindsay/Tobias combo.

Heaven help me.

Heaven help us all.

Which Arrested Development character are you?

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One Response to “I Am Lindsay Bluth”

  1. Jeff May 25, 2013 at 1:33 pm #

    I still feel like this was a trap…

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