Archive | February, 2013

This Is Friendship

28 Feb

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A friend is someone who assures you that if Prince Harry knew you, he’d totally be into you.

A friend is someone who knows your Taco Bell order.

A friend is someone who makes you a breakup mix for a crush that never came to fruition.

A friend is someone who pulls you around on a rope and teaches you to rollerblade.

A friend is someone who mourns Nora Ephron’s death with you.

A friend is someone who has a seven hour Skype conversation with you from across the Atlantic because you are homesick.

A friend is someone who can list every possible person “You’re So Vain” could be referring to in your life.

A friend is someone who talks to you so much her 2-year-old recognizes your voice.

A friend is someone who takes each, individual, millionth ending with the same boy as seriously as the first time.

A friend is someone who asks how you are doing THE DAY AFTER SHE GIVES BIRTH even though clearly you’re not the one that just survived labor and delivery.

That’s friendship. Thirteen years of friendship.

I don’t deserve it.  But I’ll take it.

In Which I Overanalyze My Ice Cream

26 Feb

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I once had a love affair with Ben & Jerry’s half baked ice cream. It was intense. It was exclusive. It lasted the entire time I lived in London.

I don’t want to say it was a relationship of convenience because I don’t want to cheapen what we had, but it turns out my interest in half baked ice cream was very situational. And geographical. When I returned to the United States and the comfort of other American food, half baked ice cream and I parted ways. On bad terms.

Like I-never-want-to-see-you-again-also-I-wish-I-had-never-met-you terms.

A year passed and things remained awkward between us. There seemed to be no hope of reconciliation. Then last week I was shopping at Pavilions checking out the ice cream aisle when suddenly it hit me–I wanted half baked ice cream!

??????

I checked in with myself.

Are you sure? This is half baked ice cream we are talking about. You never liked it that much in the first place. It just reminded you of home.

Yes. I want it.

But you don’t eat half baked ice cream anymore.

GIVE IT TO ME.

I got the ice cream. And ate the ice cream. It was tasty.

As I sat licking my spoon, it hit me. London was a hard time for me, and some ways I’ve been in recovery ever since. Was this return to half baked ice cream the final step? The ultimate you’ve-moved-on-Jill moment? A million questions ran through my mind.

Is half baked ice cream a symbol of my psyche now?

What will happen now that I am a whole, complete person that can eat half baked ice cream again?

Am I assigning too much weight to the ice cream?

Are there several other layers of meaning to the half baked ice cream?

And then I stopped thinking and enjoyed my ice cream. Because I have changed since London. And sometimes ice cream is just ice cream.

Win: Jill.

If You’re Having A Bad Day

25 Feb

Sometimes at the end of a bad day you just need some Pacey Witter.

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Warsan Shire

25 Feb

our love

a funeral we’ve dressed for
over and over again
inna lillahu wa inna ilaihi raji’un
you part your hair
i pout whilst you zip up my dress
i even pick lint from
your dark suit.
why are we so hesitant to lower
the body in to the ground?
i’m afraid
that it’ll come back to life
and i won’t hear it
call my name.

Warsan Shire

Warning: Once you start reading Warsan Shire you won’t want to stop.

In Honor Of The Oscars

24 Feb

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Is the resemblance uncanny, or is the resemblance uncanny?

Caitlin and I have a pet screenplay we like to discuss. This is Los Angeles, everyone has a pet screenplay they like to discuss.

If I’m honest though, what I enjoy talking about more than the actual screenplay is the inevitable acclaim that will follow such a brilliant display of talent.  What will it be like to pull a Matt and Ben and win the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay as best friends at such a young age?  Will it test our friendship?  How will we adjust to life in the spotlight?

You know.

This has led to several deep discussions on the topic.

Jill: Okay, let’s be serious here, who is the Matt and who is the Ben in this friendship? We can’t come to this decision lightly.

Caitlin: Of course.

Jill: All right then, on the count of three we yell who we think we are. Ready? One, two, three–BEN!

Caitlin: Silence

Jill: YOU RUINED IT!

Caitlin: I’m sorry, I panicked. I swear I was going to say Matt!

Jill: You swear?

Caitlin: I swear. Here, let’s try again.

Jill: All right. One, two, three–BEN!

Caitlin: MATT!

Thus it was said.

If you are new to the “Are You A Matt Or A Ben” question, I suggest you look beyond hair color and examine your core being. A good question to start with is:

1) Are you more likely to marry someone you met at a bar? (Matt/Caitlin)

2) Are you more likely to have a dramatic Bennifer relationship that goes up in flames before you find The One? (Ben/Jill)

After you’ve had sufficient time for introspection/re-watching Good Will Hunting, I would love to hear, are you a Matt or a Ben?

There’s No Place Like Home

22 Feb

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Gretchen: You know Dawson, it might interest you to know that I did take one film class in college.
Dawson: Was it a monumental waste of time?
Gretchen: No, it was great actually. But you know what my teacher said was the most bogus line in Hollywood cinema?
Dawson: What?
Gretchen: “There’s no place like home.”
Dawson: Wizard of Oz.
Gretchen: Exactly. It’s what everybody remembers about the movie, but it doesn’t resonate with the rest of the story. Think about it. You know home is this desolate, gray, dust bowl of a place where some nasty old lady is trying to kill your dog. And Oz is …
Dawson: Technicolor.
Gretchen: And sure it has it’s problems. You know, poppy fields, flying monkeys, …
Dawson: Talking trees.
Gretchen: But along the way you make friends. Good friends. With people that you never even knew existed when you were growing up. Straw people, tin people, …
Dawson: And lions.
Gretchen: Exactly. And you help each other realize that all the things that you want to be, you already are.  And it’s fun.

–Dawson’s Creek, Season 4

I’m home!

Seth and Blair

21 Feb

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The relationship we never knew we always wanted has emerged.  That’s right, Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf are dating!  Oh…I mean…Adam Brody and Leighton Meester are dating.  Same thing, right?

While I don’t know what will happen with Adam and Leighton’s relationship (marriage!  babies!  grandkids!), I can’t help but imagine their alter egos Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf would make an epic couple.

Seven Solid Reasons Why Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf Are Made For Each Other:

1.    Opposites Attract

Okay, so on the surface the Seth and Blair may seen very different.  Seth likes to listen to indie music, skateboard, and read comic books.  Blair likes to scheme, shop, and marry royalty.  But as anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows—opposites attract.  I can see the banter now…

Seth:  Do we have to go to Barneys again?

Blair: Yes.  And stop slouching.  People will see us together.

Ah, true love.

2.    They Both Understand The Pressure Of Heightened-Reality High Society Life

Seth may have reluctantly dealt with the Newport high society life, but hello, his grandfather was Caleb Nichol.  He knows high society.  And Blair?  Well…Blair was born for high society.

3.    We know Seth Loves Feisty Brunettes

Seth was at his best when dealing with feisty Summer and her “rage blackouts.” In fact, one might say Seth LIVES for feisty brunettes.  And there’s no brunette, I repeat no brunette, feistier than Blair Waldorf.

4.    Eleanor and Cyrus and Sandy and Kirsten Would Be Besties

Seriously, just imagine that dinner party.  Spinoff show??

5.    Seth and Blair Both Love Grand Gestures

Seth climbed on a coffee cart to declare his love for Summer.  Blair dramatically walked into a Paris casino to tell Chuck she was ready to fight for his love. Combine these two romantics?  I’m seeing a coffee cart speech on top of the Empire State Building in their future.

6.    Seth Cohen Would Make Blair Waldorf A Superheroine.  Literally.

You know Seth would draw a superheroine Blair whose headband-of-power caused her to rule over others.  Sorry Chuck, but can you do that?

7.    Seth and Blair dating opens the door for a Ryan and Serena love connection

Who doesn’t want to see socialite Serena van der Woodsen with bad boy Ryan Atwood?   I know I do.

If I Were Oprah

20 Feb

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Sharing Edith Wharton with George Pepperdine.  I’m bad at posing with statues.

One of my great dreams in life is to run Oprah’s Book Club.

Wouldn’t that be the best job in the world?  Reading.  Discovering new, amazing stories that are sure to become instant best-sellers.  Bringing East of Eden back to the general public.

It’s all so romantical.

Unfortunately, Oprah has not been returning my calls lately.  Nor has she promoted me to Head Of All Book Club Operations And Businesslike Things just yet. Details.

Until that happens I’ve decided to do my own book club of sorts.  To get organized about this reading business.  Taking a leaf from Gretchen Rubin, this year I vowed to read at least three books a month:

  1. A classic
  2. A YA book
  3. An eccentric choice

For January I read:

1. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (Abridged, all right? Stop hounding me about it.)

2. Unwind by Neal Schusterman

3. The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan

In February I’m reading:

1. House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

2. Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt

3. Paula by Isabel Allende.

What books are you reading right now?

What’s your favorite book of all time?

Are you good at posing with statues?

So Long, Matthew

19 Feb

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I know we’re all upset about this Matthew Crawley death thing, but never fear–People Magazine recently decided Matthew’s celebrity lookalike is none other than Chace Crawford!

Hearing “Chace Crawford” and “Downton Abbey” in the same sentence not only helps me through the pain of Matthew’s departure, but sends my imagination into overdrive. So many glorious possibilities.

Maybe the producers of Downton Abbey can insert Chace into Matthew’s role and not say anything?  Make him Mary’s American love interest?  Create a spin-off show based around his exploits in post-war England?

I don’t know, all I’m saying is DOWNTON ABBEY SHOULD UTILIZE CHACE CRAWFORD IN A WAY GOSSIP GIRL NEVER DID.

PS: Chace Crawford was an undergraduate student at Pepperdine once upon a time.  I am a TA for undergraduate students at Pepperdine currently.  If A=B and B=C and you multiply the square root of pi, I am possibly in contact with the next Chace Crawford on a daily basis, right? I mean, it’s simple math here.

Getting Happy

19 Feb

Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends.  In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well.  It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over.  Getting happy, okay?  Getting happy.

Stephen King